How To Resolve The Deepest Pain Of The Prospect?

I often get asked, “How can one dig deep into the prospect’s deepest pain point?” So, in today’s blog, we’ll discuss one secret on how you can dig into any level of your prospect’s pain and if you understand and implement this, then your prospects will surely open up to you!

Now, If I asked you to tell me your deepest pain right now, would you tell me? No! Right? It’s a great question but it takes time to get to that point of sharing the deepest pain! So, firstly it’s important to understand the different levels of pain.

There are three levels of pain, which I’ll share with you because it’s very important to understand the frame of mind of a person when they start talking to you so that you can really go into their deepest pain.

1. First Level Of Pain:

So the first level of pain is something that you openly want to talk about. For example when you ask someone how their day went and they reply with “You know it did not go that well” or “It wasn’t that great!”

So that is the first level of pain where people easily share what they’re feeling. At this level, people are open to talk about their pain and it’s very surface level and more like a conversational level of pain.

2. Second Level Of Pain:

Now the second level of pain is when you dig deeper than what you did in the surface level of pain and you ask them the right kind of questions to dig deeper!

Let’s take the person from the same example! After you ask them how their day went and they reply saying “It wasn’t that great!” You then sit them down and ask more questions on what really happened and try making a deeper conversation to understand better!

That’s when they reply saying “Actually today was really bad! You know, another car crashed into mine and I had to go to the police station, my car broke down and I missed the movie with my kids! I had to even pick up some stuff for home but I could not do anything and a lot of time got wasted! The entire day got wasted, so it’s been really rough and I’m just feeling so tired…”

So you see people actually want to talk about their pain and share more but they’re waiting for you to ask them the right questions. So when you start asking the right questions, they really open up and start sharing their pain and go deeper on what happened and how they’re feeling! So this is the second level of pain!

3. Third Level Of Pain:

Now you try to move onto the next level of pain where you ask them much deeper questions to find out the other pain points that are affecting them!

So when you say “Now that everything is done, you went to the police station, all the process is done and you’re done for the day… What else is bothering you? What is the issue now?”

That’s when the person replies saying “Actually there is a lot more that I need to worry about right now…I have to worry about the insurance, I have to give my car to the mechanics, so I’ll not have the car for a few days and it’s going to be really tough to manage everything!”

Then you ask, “But why is it tough? Why do you need the car so badly?”

And then they say “Well, I need it to drop my children to school and it’s been raining so heavily these days and I don’t know what to do now… They might fall ill in this weather with the public transport and they might miss a lot of classes if I can’t take them to school! The school won’t like this! There’s just too much to think about now! I just feel so depressed!”

You see what happened now? By just asking all these questions and trying to enter another level of pain, the person really opens up to you! Now, getting to this third level of pain and making them share so much in depth is not easy if you don’t follow the process!

This person would not really share it with everyone! Right? They would not go around and tell people that the car is not ok or the kids are going to miss school or so on!

People cannot get to that level of pain and start sharing unless you really take them through the first and second level of pain, try to understand them better and make them feel comfortable & understood!

So how do you get to this level of pain? You read about the process I used above but what is that one secret that will allow you to really dig deeper? The secret is “Be Very Curious!”

So you see when the person came and I just asked him a question and he replied and I started asking more questions to actually understand better, he started sharing everything that he was feeling and what went on in his day but you see I did not judge him for it.

I just listened through everything and asked him all the necessary questions to actually understand what he was going through and dig into his pain! So what is that one thing that I did which allowed me to ask a series of questions to go to the third level of pain is “I was very curious!”

So when you’re on a call with a prospect, the prospect is talking to you and they tell you something, don’t just ignore some things and move on! You must be curious about every word the prospect is telling you and try to understand why they used that word or why they said that particular statement and try to ask deeper on that!


So, just be very curious in your mind and the questions will flow and when the questions will flow, the prospect will start to open up! So be very curious on the call but do not be judgmental!

So, when you keep asking questions they will go deeper into their pain and when you’re very curious your whole authenticity will also come out! This way the prospect will actually trust you and open up!

So, this is the secret and one of the most important techniques to actually get to the deepest pain points of your prospect. Once you know that, you will be able to resolve this deep pain of your prospect and really be able to help them!

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About the author

Dev Sethi is the Founder & CEO of ‘Wealth On Command’. Dev is a Global Sales Award Winner and “Closer of the Year 2019” in High Ticket Sales across 150 countries. He is the 1st person across Australia, Asia, Africa, Europe and South America to ever win this award.

He empowers business owners and entrepreneurs to monetize their skills and maximize their sales by assisting them in building a high performance sales team. In the last 12 months alone his business has grown by over 560% and his clients have made over USD 5.2 Million in Sales. Dev is a Sales Champion and is now creating more Champions.

He speaks 4 languages fluently and is a loving father and a caring husband; born in Thailand, grew up in India and now living in Sydney, Australia.

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