In today’s blog, we’ll be discussing a book that changed my life and impacted my journey. The name of the book is “How to win friends and influence people.” I’m going to share with you three things about how it’s actually brought about a change in the way I think and interact with people.
This book was printed in 1936, written by Dale Carnegie; it’s a really great book and most successful people have read it. The one I have is a 2006 edition and it’s given me a lot of learnings.
One of the things I learned from this book is “15% of what you do or the success you get is due to professional knowledge while 85% is how you deal with people.” and that got me thinking.
If you want success in life, it’s all about how you deal with people. There are multiple things I’ve learned from this book but today I want to share with you three important things.
1.Give Honest Appreciation:
Now there’s a difference between appreciation and flattery. So we’ve all grown up in an environment where people appreciate us and you love that but you’ve also seen people flattering and trying to get the better of us which we don’t like.
So one key thing in this book is ‘appreciation versus flattery’. Appreciation comes from the heart and it’s sincere. When it comes to flattery, people can see through that. They know you want something out of them.
Appreciation is something that connects you with someone, they like it and it gives them a good feeling while flattery seems like something fishy and suspicious.
So, when you’re actually talking to people, listen to what they’re saying and appreciate it wholeheartedly and not because you want to flatter them. When you appreciate them, they’ll open up more and share their experiences with you and you’ll also feel really good about it!
2.Be Genuinely Interested:
When you start appreciating people, become genuinely interested in what they say because when they start opening up and you’re genuinely interested in what they are telling you, they’ll open up even more and you’ll get to learn from their experiences on how they became successful.
When I read this, I was like “Wow, this is actually so true.” Imagine when someone comes talking to you and they’re genuinely interested in what you do, you like it and you want to actually talk more about it with them. You feel the connection. Right?
So that’s when I started talking to people, appreciating them and became genuinely interested in what they were saying because I wanted to connect with people, learn from their experiences and really build that relationship.
So, the key is “Genuinely” and really from the heart. Like I said earlier, 85% of the success comes from dealing with people and this helped me personally to deal better with people.
3.Avoid Arguments:
In this book, Dale Carnegie says “The best way to get out of an argument is to avoid it!” So previously I used to be like this; in an argument, I would stand my ground and I would try to prove to them that I’m right. I would tell myself, ‘I’m gonna win the argument by hook or by crook… I’m gonna win!”
But after reading this book I thought about it. What do you feel? “Even if you win an argument, are you really a winner?” You see, when you’re arguing with someone and you win a conversation, the other person will just feel bad and the relationship between you both just worsens even if you want it to become better.
So what Dale Carnegie says is that in an argument both are losers. One walks away thinking that they did not win the argument and the other lose their relationship with them. So, you see you still lost even after winning an argument.
So the best way is, even if you want to have an argument, be genuinely interested and let the other person put out their opinion while you put out yours. So, there’s no wrong or right, just different perspectives.
CONCLUSION
So, that’s how I’ve taken these three things from the book and it’s really helped me in improving my relationship with people. Also, when I read my books, I underline and mark the most important things according to me. I even write down some notes; my learnings at the end of the book, so that I can look back and read it whenever I want to. That’s how I remember what I need to learn from the book.
What’s your favourite book? Comment below and maybe I’ll do a review of that book as well. Keep reading; keep implementing and all the best!
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About the author
Dev Sethi is the Founder & CEO of ‘Wealth On Command’. Dev is a Global Sales Award Winner and “Closer of the Year 2019” in High Ticket Sales across 150 countries. He is the 1st person across Australia, Asia, Africa, Europe and South America to ever win this award.
He empowers business owners and entrepreneurs to monetize their skills and maximize their sales by assisting them in building a high performance sales team. In the last 12 months alone his business has grown by over 560% and his clients have made over USD 5.2 Million in Sales. Dev is a Sales Champion and is now creating more Champions.
He speaks 4 languages fluently and is a loving father and a caring husband; born in Thailand, grew up in India and now living in Sydney, Australia.
